How To Pick Out Your Blow Up Girlfriend

Time To Pick Out Your Blow Up Doll

Well, c’mon, it’s not like I can tell you how to pick out a real woman, now can I? With your constant jerking and pencil dick, who would want you? Everyday I counsel losers like you, all whining and crying that you can’t keep a woman happy. Well is there any wonder why?

No, you’re only chance of having anything other than your hand or a Fleshlight wrapped around that sticklette is to get yourself a BUG – a Blow Up Girlfriend!

I know what you’re thinking and don’t get any ideas!  I am a real woman who has a penchant desire for men who are well endowed and you my dear do not fit that bill! Also, most of you could never afford to properly spoil me! So you just get back to looking through the catalog and find a blow up girlfriend all of  your very own.

Make sure you choose wisely as she will be with you for the long haul if you get my drift.

How Much Of A Loser Are You Fucking A Blow Up Girlfriend?

Oh, it gives a whole new meaning to oral sex when the first part of your foreplay is that you have to attach your lips to the nozzle and inflate your blow up girlfriend. Actually, now that I think about it, that’s really a “blow job” isn’t it?

Did you get the cheapo model – with 3 “holes” for you to stick your sad little penis into? Or did you spring for the one with the vibrating pussy? It’s just sad what you’ll do to get off you little dick loser.

The More Lifelike Blow Up Girlfriend

It’s still makes you a loser…maybe an even bigger one. At least the guys choosing a blow up girlfriend know that she isn’t real and realizes how humiliating it is to be bangin’ a BUG. But not you. Oh no, you go all out and get a blow up girlfriend made out of silicone. You want her authentic and lifelike don’t you loser?

Did you order her with just the right hairstyle, just the right eye color to appeal to you. Maybe you’re not that much of a loser of afterall, I mean their pricey, but when you think about how much you’ve spent on dates over the years, only to end up at home – alone – with your dick in your hand – it probably cost you less than your blow up girlfriend – and at least you know you won’t come home to find her with a big black cock in her mouth!

Nope, you’re still a pathetic loser!

Later Losers,

Kiera